m.i.s.s.

i really miss my friends today.

i was fortunate some came to play.

austin, cherish, alec and josh klein,

cherah, miranda, ruthanne were all fine.

we sat and talked at the coffee shop.

seeing them was not a flop.

i wanna see them again . . .

along with all my other friends.

friends, please know . . .

i miss you so.

Comments (3) »

but it is . . .

So, I’m on this journey—a journey to understand something bigger: love.  Of course, without knowing Christ, we cannot fully understand love—as he is love.  But I just wonder . . . why can’t we love each other in ways less flowery?  Why can’t we love each other in ways less showy?  Why must all of our deeds continually lead toward or hope for applause?

And I wonder . . . isn’t there more to life than this?  Than just . . . I don’t know watching it pass us by?  Because I believe we were created for more.  I believe we were born to love and be loved.  Ultimately, by the One, but by others in the process.  Of course, it isn’t all about what we can get out of it . . . but that we, too, must love one another.

I think we are all on this journey.  We’re all searching for the right kind of love, and who and how to love.  It just feels good.  Love is powerful.  And it always wins.  Love always wins.  We’ve all heard that love is patient, and love is kind.  We know that it doesn’t boast and that it isn’t easily angered.  We’ve heard those things so much, but where do we find that?

I submit that the answer that answers those questions is in the Lord.  We seem to look everywhere but to him.  I remember, I was reading a book called Soul Cravings, and in it, McManus asserts that it is lunacy to run from God and look for love.  I agree. 

Now, I’m not trying to put that on the back burner or anything, but wouldn’t you think that maybe loving each other is important too?  I think we’re all just yearning to know and be known—to love and be loved.  Isn’t that what we’re all looking and hoping for?  Sometimes, so much so that we don’t care from whom.  Sometimes, it’s so, so sad who we accept love from.  Sometimes, it’s not love at all, but just a cheap attempt to get what you want.

But wouldn’t you think that we all just want to be known.  We want someone to know the silliest of details about us.  We want someone to know our favorite color, favorite car, number, sport, food, and whatever else.  We just want someone to care—to care enough to ask. 

See, asking is half the battle . . . it’s the remember part that usually gets us.  But we want someone to remember.  We just long for the day that someone walks up to you and says “(insert name here), I got you some (insert favorite candy), and was hoping we could watch (insert favorite movie) tonight.”  I know, sounds crazy.  But it only sounds crazy . . . because people don’t know each other like that.

Sure, if you’re married, you might know those petty things about your spouse.  But do you know them about your children?  Your best friend?  Your parents?  Personally, I don’t . . . not like I’d like to.  And sometimes, people don’t know the answers to those questions, because we don’t know them about ourselves. 

So, maybe that’s the issue.  Maybe . . . it’s more about knowing ourselves so that others can love us.  Maybe. 

 But love seems so . . . fake sometimes.  And I think it’s because we just want to be applauded by how well we loved someone.  If we were really focused on just loving the person, we wouldn’t care what others thought about it.  If we really cared about loving the person, we wouldn’t have to care . . . because if people were watching, maybe they’d learn that love is real.

I think love is . . . 

but it is . . .

hard . . .

and sometimes,

it hurts.

sometimes,

it makes no sense . . .

other times—

all the sense in the world.

it is crazy—

this thing we call

love.

but it’s a movement—

and it changes . . .

everything.

            See, I do think that love changes everything when it’s real.  And probably even when it’s just some cheap imitation.  I believe that in order to love someone, we must desire to do so.  We must want to love people.  Selfishness is a crude trait.  And we all possess this trait.  Probably, selfishness is innate. 

            We have to consciously let go of our own selfishness.  To love someone fully and effectively, we can have no selfish desires in it.  But all too often, the way we love is so selfish.  We want to be liked more; we want love in return; we want sex in return; we want people to see how unselfish we are.

            Love is tricky.  And we, humans, are master tricksters.  We know what we want.  And most of the time, we know how to get it.  Which stinks!  I wish it wasn’t that way!  What if we actually had to work harder for what we wanted?  What if we only wanted what we needed?  What if the way to everything is through love?  By loving in the rawest ways?

            The weird thing is . . . is that we set up this world where everything’s in color—except love.  And love is black and white.  Like there’s only a few ways to do it.  There’s only a couple of ways someone will accept it.  But . . .

some things are red;

others—blue,

green,

pink.

orange is nice—

purple invites.

love is color—

we just try

to make it

black

&

white.

live

and

love . . .

in

color.

I would submit that we’re all on this journey.  It’s not just me.  Of course, some don’t recognize that we’re just yearning for love . . . or that we’re just living and letting life pass us on by, but . . . we all so yearn for this love. 

            It’s like we want someone to know us so well that they can love us.  Loving is one of the most incredible things we can do.  It’s the most precious and best gift we can give.  And receiving love doesn’t stink so badly either!  It’s almost like the cries of our innermost selves is this:

love me

loudly.

love me

proudly.

Yeah, I think that probably is it.  We just want someone to love us and love us well.  We want to be able to start the day knowing we are loved.  We want to be able to make mistakes and still know.  We want to be able to go to bed at night, knowing that no matter what the day held, someone still loves us just the same . . . if not more.

This might sound kind of random . . . but I was thinking about flowers.  I don’t really like flowers.  I think they’re expensive, and . . . sooner or later, they’ll die.  But for me to say that I don’t think they’re beautiful would be a lie.  Flowers are just so . . . beautiful.  And I was thinking . . .

a flower starts as a seed

 . . . covered by dirt

            . . . exposed to light

 . . . fed with water

             . . . beautiful.

Is it possible

 . . . that maybe

            . . . that maybe

 . . . we’re like that,

 . . . too?

 . . . beautiful.

What if it’s so that we are supposed to start out so small, be covered by the earth, exposed to the Son, fed with water (or love), and turn in to something beautiful?  Even when someone doesn’t like us?  Are we like flowers?  I do think so. 

And I think we’re supposed to love each other all the time.  I think we’re supposed to suck it up . . . and love one another.  In the . . .

good.

bad.

ugly.

no condition can change it.

If love isn’t changed by condition, then we should love each other . . .

even when . . .

            its hard.

            it hurts.

            its dumb.

            it stinks.

even when . . .

            others don’t.

            it seems you can’t.

            you don’t understand.

            they disagree.

even when . . .

            it makes you cry.

            all you can do is sigh.

            it doesn’t make sense.

            there are other things to do.

even when . . .

            because . . .

                        it is . . .

                                    unconditional.

            Now, that’s what I think about love!  What does one do about that though?  I’ve been looking at a lot of non-profit organizations.  There are so many!  Some of those that I’ve looked so closely at are To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA), the ONE campaign, Feed Just One, TOMS Shoes; Blanket a Human, and Invisible Children. 

            They all are different from one another.  TWLOHA is a fight against depression, cutting, and suicide attempts.  ONE is a fight against poverty and AIDS.  With a motto of “If you can’t feed a hundred, feed just one” (Mother Theresa), Feed Just One strives to feed the hungry.  TOMS shoes are just that . . . shoes!  For each pair that is bought, a pair is sent to South America to a child that doesn’t have any.  Blanket a Human works to clothe the homeless with more than just blankets.  And finally, Invisible Children (which is probably the most widely known) raises awareness for those in Uganda.

            I don’t really know where this brings me . . . except to say . . . love is important.  Without love, not one of these organizations could or would exist.  Love is the answer.  Every time.  Every time, love wins.  I was wanting to start an organization called

but it is . . .

            I don’t know what the organization would look like.  But I do know that my biggest desire would be to encourage people to love in the most raw of ways—to encourage people to love selflessly . . . to know one another.  I once heard it said, “To be known is to be loved, and to be loved is to be known.”  With that, I agree.

            As I was talking with a friend about all of the organizations mentioned above, he suggested but it is . . .  being a place in which all of those places are combined.  A place where those organizations (and others) can come together.

            Because if we’re going to be honest (and I believe honesty is key), each of those organizations may be fighting or raising awareness for different things, but they are all working together for the greater good—for a common goal.  What if but it is . . . is a place where those can meet and intertwine and intermingle?  It sounds like beauty to me.          Of course, I don’t really know how to get that ball rolling.  But maybe there’d be a website, conventions, tours?  I am not completely sure . . . but of this . . . I am:

but it is . . .

            To clarify the name, it equals love.  And I believe that love is not subjective—as Christ is love—but love is . . . something bigger than we allow it to be (refer to writings above).

 

Organizations Mentioned . . .

To Write Love on Her Arms (www.twloha.com)

The ONE campaign (www.one.org)

Feed Just One (www.feedjustone.com)

TOMS Shoes (www.tomsshoes.com)

Blanket a Human (www.blanketahuman.org)

Invisible Children (www.invisiblechildren.com)

Leave a comment »

Much Overdue . . .

Dearest Friends and Family,
I write to you today for a couple of reasons: to thank you, share thoughts about my year at LeadTime, and to tell you of the events that will follow. I do hope this letter finds you well—enjoying the summer, your friends and family, celebrating life, and taking time to breathe in the midst of a chaotic world.
Well, I cannot begin to describe how much your support has meant to me. Whether prayers, financial, words of affirmation, or the belief that I could make it through, I am greatly appreciative. I am extremely blessed to have a family (of which you are a part of) carry me through a whole year of my post-college life. Every penny you sent, prayer you prayed, word you wrote or spoke has been an encouragement. Thank you.
Now, about LeadTime . . . wow, this year has been the most emotionally up and down, back and forth, side to side roller coaster that I have ever ridden. And I do like roller coasters (although, if I’m not careful, they tend to make me light headed and nauseas)! That said, I have loved it so much and have hated it just the same. LeadTime has allowed me to love and live in a way that most do not get a chance to, until they become parents, I assume.
I have had the incredible opportunity to live and work with ‘at-risk’ teens: walking alongside them, journeying with them, crying, laughing, shopping, eating, watching movies, doing work hours, community service, bible study, enjoying, learning, and most of all, growing. You see, LeadTime partners with a ministry called Shelterwood. Shelterwood is the program that the teens go through. It is a nine month (minimum) level system, where the teens work through a lot of family issues, substance abuse, rejection, abandonment issues, detachment problems, social anxiety, depression, losses, and much more.
For the past eleven months, I have lived with these girls and their ‘problems.’ But more than that, I have lived with the real people behind them. I have learned more than I ever imagined I would or even could from them. The things we do, say, or choose (or don’t for that matter) really affect many others. Rules without relationships lead to rebellion. Children want discipline just as badly as they need it; they just aren’t willing to admit it often. Sometimes, even the most hurtful things are the easiest cries for help. To know someone is to love them, just as loving them is to knowing them. We all care what others think; some are just more willing to verbalize it. We’ll do almost anything to not be alone.
Some of the things I’ve learned have been very good and helpful: beautiful, even. Some of the things I’ve seen or walked through with these girls have been more frightening than I’d hope anyone to see . . . ever. I’ve seen restoration, determination, dedication, encouragement, and motivation in ways I cannot explain or comprehend. The parents of these kids have much courage: to entrust their precious son or daughter into the care of a handful of post-college-twenty-somethings.
And I am so grateful I have been able to be a part of that.
It has been almost a year since I started at LeadTime. Actually, another reason I’m writing to you is in regards to the next step. On August 7, I will graduate from the LeadTime program: a bittersweet stepping-stone. After graduating, I will move from LeadTime, from Kansas City, from everything I’ve known for the past eleven months and move to a place that has also captured my heart for years.
In the fall, I will join the residential staff at Camp Barnabas. CB is a Christian summer camp, serving kids and young adults with special needs. I am very excited for this new journey. Thank you for walking with me this far. I pray that we’d continue to walk alongside one another in life. Thank you for your friendship, care, and love. I could not have made it this far without you! As always, it is my prayer, that we may taste and see the lord is good.

Love and many thanks,

Brittany Lytle

. . . couldn't have done it without you . . .

. . . couldn't have done it without you . . .

Leave a comment »

this city . . .

this city . . .
this city . . .
is drawn to the light.
this city . . .
this city . . .
drowns in the night.

this city . . .
this city. . .
be drawn to the light.
this city . . .
this city . . .
pull away from the night.

this city . . .
this city . . .
walk in the light.
this city . . .
this city . . .
call out in the night.

this city . . .
this city . . .
love in the light.
this city . . .
this city . . .
draw near in the night.

this city . . .
this city . . .

Leave a comment »

oxyMORON

i’m so scared of the dark
and yet i walk in it–
lies frustrate my entire being
but still, i believe them.
jealousy kills grace
and i’m oh, so guilty.
i’ve never been in a courtroom,
but i judge harshly.
i say truth defines me–
but seemingly, i run of it.
i am POWERLESS . . .
still, self-reliant.
in order to get respect, you give it
and i fail.
cutting hurts my heart,
but my remarks are so sharp.
peter doubted,
but i’m supposed to follow Jesus.
approval of men isn’t everything,
but i’m driven by fear of rejection.
pride leads to big heads–
man, i’m bloated.
comparison leaves no room for relationship–
i’m all alone.
but . . .
oh, what a sweet, sweet but . . .
 
his grace is sufficient
his power . . .
made perfect in my weakness.
he is the light–
may i . . .
and we . . .
may we walk in that.
what a sweet, sweet but . . .
 
slow to anger and quick . . .
quick to love.
what an incredible God.
how sweet this sound:
forgiveness
redemption
beauty
truth
SWEET.

Leave a comment »

1 Samuel 16:1-13

How long will you mourn,

Mourn for the rejected?

Go to Jesse’s son—

The one whom I’ve elected.

 

But how can I go

Without being killed?

Take a heifer, anoint the chosen

And you, I will yield.

 

In peace, Samuel went

To Jesse and his sons,

The first that he saw

Was not the chosen one.

 

Do not consider his appearance,

Though it’s much easier to do—

I look at his heart

So, also . . .should you.

 

Jesse called a few more sons

But Samuel knew there must be another

Are these the only sons you have

Or is there a brother?

 

Jesse said the youngest

Was still tending to the herd

Call for him,

Samuel quickly inferred

 

David came swiftly—

A handsome and ruddy son

Rise and anoint him;

He is the one

 

Samuel stood and anointed David

And it was in that hour

That the Spirit of the Lord

Overcame him with power.

Leave a comment »